He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize