Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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