Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
