No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
