I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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