Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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