We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
