if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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