Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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