Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
