I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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