The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
