you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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