Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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