How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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