I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
How's work?
Spinning.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
