Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
