do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
