see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
