I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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