once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
