Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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