you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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