we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize