North Korea, Best Korea!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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