Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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