winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
