Don't you send me to vm
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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