it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
