there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
