I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
this boner is exhausting
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
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just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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