dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
