New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
