I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
