I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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