I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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