ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
