just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Randomize
