his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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