i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
