I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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