winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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