its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Help. Why am I so naked?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
