It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
