I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
