Bisexual people are plain selfish.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize