Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
