Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
