i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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