I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
