I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
