I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
