Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Text me some of your sweat
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
