It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
